


It Doesn’t Hurt

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Poe Dameron: After The Fall [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bullying By A Third Party, False Mentions Of Teen Pregnancy, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Poe Dameron: Free Fall Spoilers, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25715356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Poe discusses Kijimi with Ben.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Poe Dameron: After The Fall [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864981
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2
Collections: Hurt/Comfort Bingo - Round 11, The Darkpilot Library





	It Doesn’t Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Job-related trauma 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Luke dropped Ben off at Yavin for a while to see Poe. Given that Ben was thirteen, he couldn’t really fly the Grimtaash yet. Poe supposed that at some point, he’d have to teach Ben — as he did Zorii. He wondered absently if Ben’s training as a pilot would involve him having to tell Ben to take it easy on the controls.  
  
Then again, Ben had the Force, and the passion to learn. He’d be fine.  
  
Even as Luke walked away to catch up with Kes, Ben turned to Poe. “You doing okay?” he said.  
  
“Doing my best,” Poe said. “Still weird to be back at school after...everything.”  
  
(Whispers, following him in the corridors. Winding, byzantine, distortions of a story that only Poe knew one hundred percent. Some said he smuggled drugs, some said he’d gotten Zorii pregnant, even though they hadn’t even slept together. Kriff, they were both sixteen; that was too young to have sex...)  
  
Ben furrowed his brow. “Are people...”  
  
“It’s nothing.” They entered the house, sat on the couch. "It doesn’t hurt me.”  
  
“You’re a bad liar.”  
  
A beat.  
  
“What about your friend?” Ben said. It was obvious he had a feeling like he’d gone too far. He hadn’t, but the thought was nice.  
  
“To be honest, I don’t know what to call it,” Poe said. “I mean, we were...close. I know that much. I know that she had her moments of kindness. Things she’d try and do for me, and...I think there was good in her. It was just kind of buried. She was so used to a life as a Spice Runner. As...”  
  
_As Zela Bliss’ daughter._ He thought of Zorii, having to fight her own mother. He couldn’t imagine having to fight _his_ mother. If his mother was a crime lord. If he had to go against her. He was luckier than Zorii, in quite a few ways.  
  
Ben nodded. A quiet acknowledgment, an inquiry to go on.  
  
“She and I...we did kiss. Hold hands. But I don’t think that it really went anywhere. We weren’t together together, if you get what I mean. I think it was an extension of the...kinship we shared...”  
  
“Platonic kissing?” Ben wrinkled his nose, and Poe chuckled. Ben continued. “You can’t kiss someone platonically. On the mouth, that is.”  
  
Poe chuckled again. “Most of the time, no. But it wasn’t like we were...dating. Not really.”  
  
Ben nodded. “I just don’t want her to have...y’know, broken your heart.”  
  
“I broke hers.” Poe could still see how Zorii’s prior warmth towards him had turned towards rage. At least she’d told him to run, in the end. Of course she did.  
  
“Maybe we can go back to Kijimi one day. Get her out.”  
  
“I don’t know. I hope so.” Poe sighed. “I probably won’t be able to go back to Kijimi until I’m like, forty. You don’t just leave the Spice Runners...”  
  
“You did.”  
  
“Not without a lot of trouble." Poe ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not just Zorii. Trune...I wish I’d been able to save her.”  
  
“She would have killed you just for the sake of vengeance,” Ben said grimly.  
  
“Maybe she wouldn’t have.”  
  
“Only because if I were there, I wouldn’t have let her.” Ben said. “You were just a teenager.”  
  
“You’re a teenager too. Basically a baby.”  
  
Ben snorted. “Still.” More seriously, “She would have killed a teenager who was tricked into all this just because the Spice Runners killed her mom and dad. It’s not like you killed her mom and dad. And if she’d killed you...”  
  
The possibility, the alternate universe where that could have happened, seemed to hover in the air between them, and there was a moment where Poe doubted he could breathe.  
  
“And she could have realized you weren’t a monster when you saved her,” Ben said. “You’re not a monster. By the stars, Poe...sometimes I don’t think anyone could love the galaxy like you do. Even the idea of you ending up like them, killing people...I know it’s not you.”  
  
He didn’t deserve these words. Poe knew he didn’t. But it was true. It just seemed easy, to be kind to people. His mother had planted the seeds, and they’d grown into a garden of their own.  
  
"Sometimes I wish I was as good,” Ben said. “As you.”  
  
“I’m not perfect,” Poe said. “I thought this only proved it.”  
  
“It proved that you’re better than them.”  
  
Ben all but worshipped him, didn’t he? Worshipped him, even though Poe was certain he didn’t deserve something with such grace.  
  
Ben continued. “You saved Trune once. You attempted to save her again. You showed compassion towards those slaves — something I don’t know why Zorii didn’t...”  
  
Poe felt the urge to jump in, defend her, and he did. “She said nothing was black and white — ”  
  
“I’m pretty sure owning another being _is_ a black and white issue,” Ben said. “In terms of, ‘you shouldn’t kriffing do it.’”  
  
“Yeah.” It felt uncomfortable somehow, thinking of Zorii as...maybe not justifying it, but being conditioned to accept it. Like the horror was a part of her daily life.  
  
“Maybe we could call my mom in,” Ben said. “She would have strangled that slaver and we would have cheered her on.”  
  
Poe laughed despite himself. “Is it not very all-loving of me if I say I’d get popcorn for that?”  
  
Ben snorted. “I’m certain you won’t get points off.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“It’s just...weird, being back,” Poe said. “Being known as the guy who had a father who loved him and gave a damn about him, and still stormed off to Kijimi.”  
  
“Just because you’re a great person doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Or have to be.”  
  
Did Ben feel the same way about himself? Poe wondered despite himself.  
  
Ben deserved happiness too. A young boy with incredible talent and a great big heart. Poe wondered if he had torn it in two, in a way, when he’d left for Kijimi.  
  
“Thank you." Poe said.  
  
Ben smiled. “It’s the truth.”  
  
Poe swallowed. “You’re better than you think you are, Ben,” he said. “I know you. And I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.”  
  
“You’re here now.” Ben said.  
  
Poe smiled. “I am.”


End file.
